We Asked People What It's Like To Go To Rehab Before Age 21

Adolescent substance use is often seen as a normal part of the teenage and young adult experience. But sometimes it goes beyond youthful experimentation. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), 5 percent of all adolescents—an estimated 1.3 million US adolescents ages 12 to 17—had a substance use disorder in 2014, and the highest rate of illicit drug use was among youth ages 18 to 20. Additionally, another report found that overdose deaths among young people aged 12 to 25 have more than doubled in 18 states since 2001.

Despite these numbers, only a reported 10 percent of adolescents ever receive treatment for their substance abuse. So what's it like for the ones who do—those who go to rehab before they've ever even had a legal drink? We asked people who have been there.

How old were you when you first went to rehab? 
I was 20. It stuck for a while. I stayed sober around 18, maybe 20 months and then had a bad relapse.

How did you start using at such a young age? 
My parents kicked me out right after I turned 15 for being queer/transgender… After I was kicked out I started living on the streets and that kind of opened it up. Everyone around me was getting loaded in some form or another. [Someone known as] Heroin Bob took me in, taught me how to be a street kid, and never pushed drugs on me. I never got high with him, [but] then I started traveling. I hitchhiked to San Francisco and started smoking meth in the Castro and experimenting with all sorts of drugs—acid, cocaine, ecstasy. I came back up to WA and by the time I was 16 I was a full blown IV drug user and heroin addict.

What are some of the unique challenges about entering treatment at an age when you can't even legally drink? 
It was hard because I didn't lose the same things other people had lost. I never got a DUI because I never had gotten my license, never lost a job—never had a job—or a house, or a marriage. I actually struggled for a long time to admit I was an alcoholic because I never did my drinking in bars and never got a DUI. It was hard in general to admit a lot of things and not just push it off as natural youthful experimentation.

How do you handle making new friends as a young sober person? 
Honestly? Not so well. I got involved with a recovery community but most people were so much older than me. I got taken in by a lot of older lesbians who tried to connect me to other young people. I think it was also super hard because I was queer and trans and most other queer folks in their early 20s were totally getting wasted in the bars. So I was isolated a lot. Towards my relapse I started hanging out in the bars with friends who were drinking. After a while I started to drink with them, which spiraled out of control really quickly. I learned that bars were not a safe place for me.

How old were you when you went to rehab and got sober? 
I was 20.

Did you go to treatment willingly or were you forced by parents/guardian/courts? 
It was half willing/half forced by my family. I had a warrant out for [my arrest] and I wanted help and asked for it. But once I asked for help I was forced to follow through with it because my family [was then involved]. I don't think if it was just me I would have.

What did you do for your 21st birthday? 
I ate a chocolate chip cookie cake. It was nice.

How do you handle making new friends as a sober person? 
Most of my friends are actually sober, too. I have a hard time being friends with people my age who aren't [sober]. Our lives just look a lot different and we don't tend to have a lot in common.

How old were you when you went to rehab and got sober? 
I was 20 when I went into treatment to get sober. I had tried to get sober on my own since I was 18 but it never worked out.

What were your substances of choice? 
Xanax, alcohol, opiates.

What challenges did you face? 
I had a hard time getting my head around being sober from everything, especially before I was even 21. It was easy for me to grasp that I was a drug addict, but I held onto the idea that I could drink "normally" someday. I felt like as a minor, it was ok to drink the way I did because I was just being a kid and having fun. I did a good amount of research though, and whenever I drank, I would hurt myself or others and fuel this vicious cycle of shame, self-loathing, and hopelessness. Even with those consequences, it was still hard to accept that I had to be sober.

What did you do for your 21st birthday? 
I got out of treatment a month before my 21st birthday and I didn't really have many friends. A girl I used with in high school, who had gotten sober years before me, threw me a cute party at her house and had a bonfire and everything. A bunch of sober people showed up and I actually had a really nice time.

How old were you when you went to rehab? 
First time I got sober I did it by going to a inpatient/residential detox center and then a 30 day rehab. I was 18.

Did it stick? 
Big time no. It looked like me being incredibly uncomfortable and restless mentally for the 30 days I was physically sober and in residential rehab, and then drinking and getting high again the day I got out. I ended up getting sober for real at 21; I actually spent my 21st birthday in rehab.

How did you get started at such an early age? 
First time I got drunk it did something for me, I almost felt like I could reach my potential while high and drunk—which I understand isn't usually an idea associated with underage drug and alcohol abuse. I would get out-of-control drunk and high at times and do stupid stuff, but leading up to that point when I would just be "buzzed," I felt comfortable and confident. My preferred substances of choice were opiates and alcohol, but at times those two weren't available I had no problem compromising.

How did your peers respond to you having to go to treatment? 
They didn't really take it seriously. They viewed it as like a quick thirty-day breather for me that I'd get back from and would proceed to get back into using with them the same way I left off. Frankly, I didn't have much hope for a different outcome either.

How old were you when you first went to rehab/got sober? 
I was 17 when I first went to rehab. I attended [an] outpatient program, then I was sent to an inpatient program a few months later, and then a now-defunct 12-Step boarding school. It was like a lockdown for at-risk teens, but with school and extracurricular activities. It was run by AA members but no therapists.

What were your substances of choice? 
Pot — yep, just pot. To this day, I have never done any harder drugs.

Did you really think you would be sober forever after leaving treatment? 
After I left the boarding school, I was convinced that I was going to die or go to prison if I didn't stay sober. So, I did my best, really convinced I was going to live sober, and that there was no other way. I went to meetings almost daily, took up service projects, and helped counsel other young sponsees. I kept it up for nearly 3.5 years through college. I'm no longer sober, and I've paved my own path to wellness.

How did you navigate college as a sober person?
Having finished high school at a 12-step boarding school, I was steered away from large state universities, and ended up at a Southern Baptist Christian university with a zero-tolerance policy and gender-separated dorms. Being in that environment with largely a group of conservative Christian kids definitely made it easier to escape to [AA] meetings—it was cool to say you were "straight edge" in that population of students, so I didn't really have to explain myself to a lot of people. I chose to tell people that I became closer friends with the back story when the opportunity presented itself. It was awkward to describe my relationship with my sponsor to my roommate—I used to talk to my sponsor nearly every day, and my roommate didn't understand in the beginning why it was so beneficial for me to depend on someone that intensely, and so frequently. She eventually seemed to respect it.

How old were you when you first went to rehab? 
Sixteen. I stayed sober for 11 years active in recovery. I had a relapse in 2011 but am back in recovery now.

What are some of the challenges of entering treatment at an age when you can't even legally drink? 
By far the most frightening and shocking was being taken from an environment where I was generally surrounded by peers to a place where everyone was at least 15 years older than me and had lived tougher lives than the suburban high school kid I was had ever known.

How did you start using at such a young age?
I started drinking when I was 12 years old. My dad said I could have a glass of wine at my uncle's wedding. After I had the first glass I managed to sneak around and finish several glasses that were around. I remember loving the way it made me feel. At 12, it was hard to get alcohol, but after that first time I had made up my mind to get drunk at every opportunity.

What did you do for your 21st birthday? 
I was chairman for a young people in recovery conference the year of my 21st birthday and the conference fell right around the day, so I was too busy to worry or plan too much. On my birthday I went to a liquor store and bought some 99 Bananas for my sister who is a year younger than me and her friends.

How old were you when you first went to rehab? 
I was 15 years old when I went into my first inpatient treatment center. I have been to five inpatient treatment centers.

What were your substances of choice? 
Crystal meth, heroin and crack.

What challenges did you face? 
Weed and alcohol were the "norm," but I soon realized that I wanted/needed more and became an outlier within a short amount of time. My friends and sisters didn't understand. We would drink together and they thought I would be okay, I even thought I was going to be alright. But then I would disappear for weekends at time. All of a sudden I was disconnected from my peers and my sisters. I no longer was "normal." People kept thinking I would snap out of it, that it was a phase. We all wanted so desperately to believe that. In high school I felt more comfortable during lunch periods hanging out with my drug counselor then sitting with my own peers.

How do you navigate being sober in college? 
It was and still continues to be a struggle. Most of my peers are popping Adderall when midterms and finals roll around. I can become envious at times and need to check myself. But then I think: how awesome that I get to do this sober—it's all me!

How old were you when you first went to rehab? 
Sixteen. I went to an inpatient treatment center in Gladstone, Oregon, for 28 days. I got out and relapsed shortly after (maybe a week?). Three months later, I went to rehab again. This time, It was a wilderness therapy expedition which consisted of a three week backpacking trek in silence, four weeks of "extended expeditions" (canyoneering/surfing/horseback riding/trail-building) and six months at a wilderness boarding school campus. All of this happened in Oregon… I was forced out of my room by escorts, via my parents.

I also entered an outpatient program at 19 because I was addicted to heroin. The program was a MAT (medication assisted therapy) program where I was prescribed suboxone and attended one-on-one therapy and groups on a weekly basis.

How did you get started so young? 
I had my first drink of alcohol when I was 13. I smoked marijuana for the first time when I was 12. I always hung out with the older, cooler kids, desperate to fit in. I certainly succumbed to peer pressure. I also think that me being gay has something to do with it. I came out at a young age, 14, and although I was openly accepted by mostly everyone around me, there was a lot of inner conflict I had with not feeling comfortable being myself. I suppose that using drugs and alcohol was a reprieve from that inner discomfort. My introduction to heroin was through an older guy who ended up becoming my boyfriend. I was feeling very resentful towards my parents for deciding to send me away to rehab at such a young age and I was ready to cause some destruction in my life. I wanted to try new drugs, and he offered. That was that.

What are some of the unique challenges about entering treatment at an age when you can't even legally drink? 
My relationship with alcohol and drugs before I was of legal age was interesting for sure. Whenever alcohol was around, I would always drink as much as I could, as fast as I could, because I was never sure when I was going to be able to get it again. I wasn't old enough to buy it myself, and the forbidden factor around me not having access to it made it that much more desired by me… It was very easy for me to justify my addict-behavior as "a sign of my youth" and something that I would grow out of. Saying things to myself, like, "I couldn't possibly have a problem, because I am not even old enough to drink!" Or "This is just what being young is all about, I will figure this out and I won't have this issue when I get older."

Did you really think you would be sober forever after leaving treatment? 
Although I am sober now, I did not stay sober after leaving treatment. When I think about being sober FOREVER, it gives me anxiety and does not help me stay sober today! The program that I work now teaches me to focus on the present, "just for today." All I have to do is stay sober today. Who knows, maybe I will have a drink tomorrow? Today I am going to be sober, though.