Composite by VICE Staff
Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales are in full swing, with deals on Dyson vacuums, MCM furniture, and enough sex toys to fill a Berlin pleasure dungeon. We could wax on about the suction powers of our favorite penis pumps that are on promo right now, and start to get emotional with nostalgia for the Cum Face Duel Pump Action Penis Game (also on sale at Babeland), but our hearts truly stopped when we saw the 78% off Black Friday sale price of the one, the only, the esteemed Satisfyer Pro 2 clitoral suction vibrator: This is the lowest price, for real, we’ve ever seen for this cult-fave sex toy. Typically, this mean, lean, clit-sucking machine can cost anywhere from $35 on Amazon, where it has earned a 4.2-star average rating from over 59,000 reviews, to up to $75 on sites such as Lovehoney. (BTW, that's akin to the entire population of Encino, California, leaving sincere, larger-than-life reviews about the clitoral suction vibe.) In the words of one Amazon reviewer, “I feel like I just opened a whole new door to my sex life and I’m so excited and grateful for this device. If you’re debating taking the step, just do it.” I tested the Satisfyer Pro 2 for VICE a few years ago to see if it lived up to its reputation, and I can indeed confirm that it slaps. The toy is quiet, easy to hold, and its Air Pulse technology is what makes it possible to stimulate your clitoris without ever directly touching it, which is perfect for people like me with heightened clitoral sensitivity. But the real magic happens when you add a drop of lube; The effect is uncannily like getting head from a very gifted situationship thanks to the toy’s flexible silicone suction lip. To quote yet another Amazon reviewer, “Your soul will separate from your body like some Doctor Strange move. Now you've reached the need-an-Exorcism level. Palms sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, weirdly craving spaghetti.” So, once you have made all the practical Black Friday purchases on Scrub Daddy value packs and boot scrapers, don’t forget to bring home the Pro 2 while it’s at its lowest price, ever, during PinkCherry’s Black Friday sale. Your clit will thank you. Don’t miss the rest of our roundup of the best Black Friday deals of 2023.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.
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The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.