Love IPAs? Now You Can Bone a Beer Can With This Novelty Male Stroker

Love beer? Of course you do. You’re a patriotic, corn-eating child of Christ. Your unwavering passion for the pint deserves to be reciprocated, which is why we’re hosting this virtual ribbon cutting for Schag’s Luscious Lager, the first-ever fuckable beer can. That’s right, folks: There is now a beer-can-shaped male masturbator for novelty sex toy collectors, small brewery supporters, and people who want to get a leg up on their White Elephant gift shopping.

Schag’s groovy cursive logo appears to pay homage to Schlitz, the “beer that made Milwaukee famous” and the namesake ale of what was once the largest brewing company in the United States. The camouflaged masturbator is also equipped with four internal “Pleasure Chambers” with varying textures to get you off, including an Arise Chamber, Apex Chamber, Squeeze Chamber, and an Exceed Chamber designed to get you across the finish line, every time:

The stroker is made out of body-safe silicone that is free of phthalates, fragrances, paraffins, and latex. It’s also designed to fit all penis sizes and can easily disguise itself (if that’s important to you) by hiding out amongst your IRL beer cans. Jokes aside, it really is one of the more discreet male sex toys we have seen in recent years—just make sure Brad doesn’t try to crack it open during the next major sports event, of course. 

Talk about a foamy head.    

Buy the Schag’s Luscious Lager male masturbator here. 

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.